TFYP 01 | Make It You
If you start digging around in the history of why wedding traditions are what they are, not only do you find a reoccurring theme of warding off evil spirits (bridesmaids dresses, the bouquet, and being carried over the threshold are just the beginning), but you’ll notice that much of what we do today is a combination of past traditions built upon past traditions (just one of the many examples: breaking of bread to celebrate fertility was transformed into a wedding cake, then much later in time cakes were stacked higher and higher as a kissing game, creating multiple tiered wedding cakes). And if you dig toooo far… things get quite barbaric, and honestly just a bit disturbing (tossing the bouquet and garter became a distraction from ripping the brides clothes off for luck. just, no.).
If traditions like these are your thing, we do not mean to persuade you from planning a wedding just so. Do it, and do it big. But if you’re like us and find yourself wondering “but whyyyy do I have to wait and see my best friend until mid-day walking down the aisle when this is supposed to be a celebration of US?!” – then don’t be afraid to break the rules. Start your own traditions. Have a first look and see each other as soon as you’re ready for the day – or get ready together. Do you both run with the same incredible friend squad? Get ready as one big group, sipping champagne and beermosas (for the guys, of course) and making sure those dudes have their ties on correctly from the start. Whatever you do, make it you.
History lesson: a couple had to wait and see each other at the ceremony because way back in the day the marriage was arranged, and having them wait until the last minute created less of a “runaway bride” situation. Your wedding may also have been a business arrangement between father and groom, so you were seeing your groom for the first time upon being escorted down the aisle by dad and “given away.”
We love tradition, it can be a beautiful, sacred thing. But doing something for the sake of obligation on a day that should be so spectacularly splendid just doesn’t make sense, and what we’ve learned from reading through wedding traditions past is that not everything is worth repeating (although honeymoons were traditionally 30 days – that is definitely worth repeating in our books).
The day you marry your best friend shouldn’t be a list of “things we have to do,” it should be an extraordinary day celebrating your love and inviting your friends and family into that love. Make the day look like you. Let it scream volumes of both your personalities, not the personality of barbaric or overly religious Joe Schmo from centuries long ago.
Invite your guests camping and tie the knot under the pine trees. Throw an elaborate ball and pretend you’re Cinderella, saying vows in the middle of the dance floor. Host an intimate dinner party, greet your guests at the door, and share your first kiss in the comfort of your own living room. Wear pink. Eat candy instead of cake. Sing karaoke if dancing ain’t your thing. Whatever you do, make it you.
XO,
The Vafa’s
/// A Little Something Extra
Of all the history lessons we’ve taken in on weddings, the story of the white dress is our favorite. Though Queen Victoria wasn’t the first to wear white, she is the woman who made it famous. In those days, royalty wore wedding dresses made from fabrics of silver and gold to show their wealth, but when Queen Victoria was married she wasn’t becoming a queen, she was already the head of state. Instead, she wanted to display leadership and a statement for her kingdom. England was experiencing widespread poverty and unemployment due to the effect that the Industrial Revolution was having on the textile industries. Queen Victoria chose to wear white to put her duty of taking care of her people on display, rather than making her personal wealth a thing of glory. Pretty awesome, if you ask us.